It’s the bad relationships that teach you the most. It’s only when you go through hell with someone that you realize that it doesn’t matter how much they love you if they still haven’t worked out their issues.
It’s only when you go through the ‘almost relationships’ that you realize that some will keep you around for convenience and some will change their whole life just to be with you. Some will tell you beautiful things but will only sometimes follow through with actions. And some will always be consistent because they’ll never risk losing you.
Some will be with you only because they can’t have the one they really want. And some will never get swayed no matter who is trying to be with them because in their heart they know that what they have with you comes once in a lifetime.
And you had to go through it.
You needed to go through the turbulence of your last relationship to realize that your connection might be out of this world, but if they aren’t ready - if they haven’t healed or moved on or matured, if they’re scared of letting you in fully, they will keep pushing you away until they are.
You had to hit rock bottom to realize that no one is worth burning for. No one is worth it if they keep causing you pain, inter-conflicts and angst. No one is worth self-destructing for.
No one is worth analyzing over and over because it doesn’t matter if they truly love you or if they’re just using you because you give their shit little ego a succulent sponge bath. It doesn't matter what the reason is because this is your time to be selfish, to reach your full potential. Because you’re too talented to limit yourself by staying in a bad relationship that hurts you, you have too much to give to settle for someone who doesn’t see you fully. They will keep holding you back.
And I know about all the pain they caused you, about all the lies and all the times you hated them for not choosing you and hated yourself for not moving on. It's the moments of intimacy that made moving on seem impossible. The laughter, the rush in your heartbeat and the tears that burned your soul because you didn’t understand why.
But you had to go through it. You had to go through it to finally say no matter what the reason is, fuck this, I will not fight to keep a person that brings out the worst in me.
You had to go through this to get here. And now you finally know what you’ll never put up with - no matter how much you might love someone or how complex and different you think they are. You have no idea about the more extraordinary people you have yet to meet who are on your level and who’ll put in effort and understand your worth. You have no idea what you’re capable of. You have no idea about the amazing things you’ll achieve if only you believe in yourself as much you believed in them.
But you had to go through this bad relationship. It opened your eyes and broke your heart and it will open you up to something greater. New light doesn’t get in unless we’re a little shaken up and broken and only then are we truly ready to transform our lives.