I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The guy loses the girl he loves by not choosing her.

What’s even worse is that he’s going to lose her and not know why. All he sees is the vindictive rage she’ll throw his way, not realizing that her invective is a reaction to his actions - his lack of affection. She knows his soul better than her own so she feels instinctively when he begins to stop choosing her. She loves him so much that she’s afraid he will abandon her - she feels her heart to be unsafe, thus a nasty downhill spiral plays itself out before their eyes, hearts shattering, trust breaking like glass.

He’ll eventually wake and realize he has to fight for her, but by then it’ll be too late; and when she walks away, he will painfully realize that she is everything he could ever want in this world.

To the guy who stopped choosing the girl he loves: don’t risk losing the best thing that ever happened to you. You have to choose her before it’s too late. But choosing her doesn’t involve saying the words - the ‘I loves yous’ don’t mean anything unless they are executed through real actions.

When you choose her - when you commit - you don’t have one eye wondering at the options; when you have filet mignon, you don’t eye the mediocre buffet. Spoiler alert: no one is going to love you better. Your mirage of options will kill your relationships. It will kill you. It will blind you in seeing the girl that you love, right in front of your eyes, asking to be loved.

Even when she is angry at you, she is asking to be loved. Especially then. Her passion is an aspect of her strong personality - this is why you fell for her to begin with. She can short-circuit any brain with her quick, dark wit; her sensually makes your soul alive. She is erotic, alive through and through; her originality and fire bring chills down your spine and her touch makes you melt in her love.

This girl that you love, she is not a simple girl - her mind is complicated, but her heart loves too much. This is why she fights with you. She isn’t like any girl you’ve ever met. This isn’t the girl you settled with, this is the girl you took off with. Her genuineness can’t be replaced; her passion, it's sparse. When she’s angry, she’s difficult. But when she’s happy, she laughs with her whole soul, making every inch of your body explode with rapture; her light finding those dark places you never even thought could smile.

You choose her by focusing and appreciating that rawness, beauty, she brings to your life. You choose her by planning ahead for her, she wants to be one you take a few extra minutes to make things special for. She wants your time. She wants your attention. She wants you to surprise her, but she doesn’t want the clichés you see in movies. She needs something that is romantic to just the two of you, exactly to your definition.

Choose her by not lying to her. Choose her through every fight, through every temptation. And if you can’t choose her, if you don’t know how to do love well, let her go. No matter how wildly you love her, if you don’t know how to appreciate the girl you love, how to choose her every day, you have to leave her. She deserves someone who wakes up every morning and is excited to choose her, to love her, to treasure her. She is a gift. You have to choose her, or let her go.

Photo by: HELM AND ANCHOR