Dear Single Mothers, Your Kids Will Be More Than Okay

Being a child of divorce left me with some scars. It wasn’t easy - it caused me to love differently, I’m more aware than others and I definitely have a shield around my heart.

But my parent’s divorce brought something so positive, too. A silver lining. For me, it’s my drive and empathy. I don't regret what happened because it's brought me closer to my mother, she's my biggest inspiration, the hero of my world, influencing me to get what I need before anything else.

Growing up, my mom was rarely “well-behaved”; she was defined by her courage, kindness and decisions to go after the life she wanted to live, instead of restricted by what was was “correct” and expected of her. I worshiped her.

And I know that your child worships you, too.

You deserve recognition for doing the hardest job known to mankind. Just the act of being who you are - a single mother raising her child to the best of her ability - that’s incredible. That takes courage. That’s something that your child will always remember.

What I remember most about growing up as a child of divorce is my mother’s love and support. We can overcome anything if we have our mother by our side. She is the reason I overcame all the turmoil when everything fell apart.

When my parents love broke into a million pieces, bringing out the worst in them, fireworks combusting, I got burnt as badly as they did. But what has shaped me the most is seeing that my mom knew when to walk away. She always knew when she was being taking advantage of and she knew when to walk away from people who weren’t appreciating her. This attitude was imprinted into my soul, leaving me with a very low tolerance for crap; I will never invest my time and energy into something or someone who isn’t offering respectable returns.

I am so proud of my mother in the same way that I know your child is proud of you. You are there for them. You are their rock. That’s what they will remember. That’s what will shape their life the most.

It’s not always going to be easy. Close relationships are never easy because you care so much. Too much. But through every fight and frustration, your child will eventually understand that you only want the best for them. Never give up. It’s your job as a mother to teach them to be open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. No matter what they do, it’s your job to always be there - lifting them up whenever they fall, teaching them how not to be afraid. Making them always feels safe, like they can tell you anything. That’s all that matters in this world.

Everything is going to be more than okay. Your child may not always find the words, but they love you with all their heart. You being there always, trying your best, it means the world to them. It will shape their life so incredibly.

So thank you, thank you for your sacrifices. When things get tough, you just roll up your sleeves and get tougher - as will your children. You are a superhero. You need to understand that by loving your children and doing all that you can for them - you are fully opening them up to their ability to love themselves and embrace their life. All the hopes for a better world rests in this. Your love is a gift.

So don’t worry so much - I promise it will all work out in the end.


A Child of Divorce