I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The guy loses the girl he likes by thinking she’s too much “work.”
Maybe you’re just not ready to handle a romantic situation with a grown-ass woman or willing to put forth the effort that she needs from you. And that’s okay. But what’s funny is you actually want this girl, yet you think you can do anything and she will still be there.
It’s incredible what guys now consider to be “work.” If it’s more than “hanging out,” it’s work. If she wants you to take her on dates, work. If she gets upset when you disrespect her, work. I don’t know if I can handle her, she’s so much effort, I hear it all the time. I’m so tired of guys calling girls needy when she shows him she cares. I’m tired of guys calling girls “crazy” or “high maintenance” when they get angry for being disrespected.
I’m tired of guys acting like douchelords and then blaming the woman for acting too “controlling” or “high-maintenance.”
News flash: not putting up with not getting everything she deserves doesn’t make her high-maintenance - don’t confuse having a backbone for being a bitch.
What you don’t understand is nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. And if you like this girl, which you do, you need to stop treating her like an option. You need to put in work, real work - not text messages and Netflix and Chill. Plan dates, surprise her, but not with some grand gesture you saw in a movie. Girls don’t need you to spend a lot of money, she just wants your effort and time. She needs something that is romantic to just the two of you, exactly to your definition.
And when she calls you out on your shit, it means she cares, she has respect for herself and her boundaries. She cares about you. It has nothing to do with being “controlling.” She’s not going to just let you do whatever you want. You think choice means something. You think easiness is good. You think the more chances you have, the better. But trust when I say that the easy girl will never satisfy you. She will be sweet but uninspiring. She will always leave you wanting more.
You’re the one who wants this girl - the one who you think is too much “work.” But what you consider work, someone else will consider normal. Because someone will value how special she is - someone will put in the effort it takes to be with her. If you want her, you have to fight for it, make an effort for it. You want a love that builds, not a love that gets discarded for the next hit. You want it, yet you’re seeing things all wrong. You want everything easy - but real relationships aren’t always easy.
Don’t lose the girl who you have a connection with because you think she’s too much “work.” You can find something easy - the next hit, the next instant gratification, anywhere. It’s around every corner. But a girl who demands your respect, challenges, craves more from you, that’s rare. That’s the girl who will always be more satisfying and always entertaining. That’s the girl who will inspire you to be the best you can be because she’ll never settle for anything, and especially, especially not for a relationship you want to half-ass.
“If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley