To My Fellow Women, Please Don't Tolerate Anything

Not a job you hate, fake friendships, a career that’s making you miserable, and especially, especially not relationships. 

You are not anyone’s “almost,” option or booty call. You are not a convenience, temporary satisfaction or an obligation. 

I know you might be waiting for them to change. You might feel lost. Your heart and head are in a constant battle. You tolerate things because you are afraid of change, of what is out there. You are afraid of being alone, you are afraid that, this is it, this is all there is. Don’t. I promise you, there is so much more.

Don’t tolerate the boy who plays mind games. Don’t tolerate the boy who calls you when he’s lonely. Who can’t make up his mind, who keeps your relationship at an “almost.” He will make great excuses: It’s complicated. This is a difficult time in my life. I’m going through a lot. He will make you feel that deep down, he loves you. He will spin you around in his insecurities and indecisiveness until you’re so dizzy and tired that you’ll think effort is a “good morning” text. 

It’s not complicated. He doesn’t want to commit to you because for him, there will always be other tantalizing options. Never mind actually feeling satisfied, he doesn’t even understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like. Please, don’t tolerate him. There is so much more. 

There will be a man who will look at you and not see anyone else. Who cups your face and makes you blush. Who makes you feel like a priority. Who will never leave you guessing what he’s thinking, or who else he’s seeing - because he would never have one foot out the door. He will never just say “I love you” - but you will feel it. In your body, in your soul, and in your heart. 

There will be a man who will never make you an “almost.” Despite his past, or his scars, or his insecurities, there isn’t anything that would keep him from you. But not just on the days when everything is easy, but even when it’s not easy to love you - because you are cut like a diamond with many facets, interesting women are not easy.

There will be a man who won’t want you to be easy. Convenient. Simple. A man who’s scars fall in love with yours and he’ll never risk losing you - not for a temporary satisfaction, not for any facade, not for an elusive more. There will be a man who gives you everything that you innately desire. He will make you feel drunk, he will kiss you in places that you’ve never been kissed, he will make love to you with more passion than you’ve ever experienced. He will love you - unfiltered, patently and passionately. It’s out there. I promise. Please don’t tolerate anything else. 

Someone is going to love you exactly how you need to be loved. That doesn’t mean it will be perfect - love isn’t perfect. Love isn’t glittery or filtered. Love is living the fuck out of your life with someone - exactly to your definition. It’s unplanned and imperfect and exactly what you need. Because that’s what love gives you - that imperfect person who is flawlessly flawed, who is wrong for you in just the right way.  Who gives you something you didn’t even know you needed. Please wait for it. I urge you to wait for it. 

Don't tolerate the boy who makes you feel like the girlfriend who has to be dragged around, like you're the anchor to all of the fun he would otherwise be having. Wait for the man who is your best friend,who you are your absolute weirdest self - who you play with. 

Don’t be terrified of being lonely. Don’t tolerate any romance related bullshit. Because I promise you, there will be more. So much more. 

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