Maybe you stopped appreciating her - maybe you stopped choosing her in the way that you needed to.
Maybe your facade of options fooled you into thinking that there was something “more.” Maybe you were one foot out the door - flirting with the opportunities, the choices. Flirting with the idea of the elusive more.
Maybe you wanted the validation. The attention - the confirmation that you were good enough, funny enough, handsome enough. And when you got it, you realized that you had it all along.
Or maybe you just weren’t ready for it.
Whatever it was, you had her - your love, your heart, and then you lost her.
When we’re in love, and don’t know how to love, we lose it. When we haven’t faced the demons inside our own brain, haven’t figured out who we are, what we truly want, what makes our hearts race and what gives us that feeling in the pit of our stomach outside of a relationship, we can’t do love well - no matter how much we might love someone.
Hanging on to her after you’ve hurt, betrayed or stopped choosing her is not fair to her. Hanging on to her when you’re not ready for it is not fair to her. Hanging on to her when you couldn’t see all the gifts she brought into your life is not fair - to her, to love, and to you. When you’ve broken someone’s heart, you need to give them the space to heal. No matter how difficult it may be, you know inside your heart it’s the right thing to do.
Strive to discover yourself. Be alone. Eat alone, travel alone, sleep alone. It's scary, but it will be the most liberating thing you will ever experience. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will innovate your own dreams, you will be sure of yourself and of what you want. You will fall in love with yourself and your life, and only then are you ready for love. Only then will you be ready to choose someone, to treat them how they deserve to be treated. Until then, you have to let her go.
When we give someone an “almost,” when we settle with someone, when we make them feel like an option, when we stop choosing them, we are not only robbing them of their trust for any other relationship they will have but also of the possibility that lives inside of them. And inside of us. And in that way you cheat them of their potential. In that way you cheat the world of your potential.
Please, do not let this happen to you. She deserves so much more. And so do you. Life and love are not irrespective of each other. They are so extremely linked. You have to let her go - for the both of you.