1. Their personalities are not dreary in the slightest - they are usually some of the charismatic and alive people you know, prone to having a sharp tongue and hyper-creative mind.
2. Their biggest challenge is to shut off their brain. They are able to process the world around them at rapid-fire speed - the good and the bad. It’s like their brain is a sponge soaking in everything causing them to be hyper-aware and highly intuitive.
3. Subsequently, they are more vulnerable to numbing themselves with alcohol or drugs. It can provide a temporary off switch for their brain, putting a halt to the never-ending flow of thoughts and ideas.
4. That is, until the hangover. Their hangovers make them extremely emotionally vulnerable - their worry often centers on a fear of being judged by others, the next morning they are left in fear of what we could have said to that one person they’d rather die than act like an idiot in front of.
5. They have the most agony about other people’s agony. Their moments of breathtaking emotional pain is often triggered by seeing other people suffer. They’re very in tune with other people’s feelings, when a stranger cries, they can’t help but feel their pain.
6. If they do something to hurt someone, it feels like a stab wound to the heart. When they say "I’m sorry," they’re really sorry - what you will never see is the hours they spend going over every single detail of the fight.
7. Concealed sadness has a lot to do with the ways people try to personally conquer their own demons. For many, it is “self-regulating” their thoughts. Brain: what meaning does life have? You: Goddamit, this again? Homie we went over this a million times and - Brain: Yeah but there’s just one more thing I still don’t - You: ....It's 3 am.
8. They have many friends or acquaintances but very few people who they truly share their world with. They hate meaningless small talk and avoid it like the plague - having unauthentic conversations can feel overwhelming exhausting.
9. They are very difficult to truly get to know. They come across as being larger than life - many are easily drawn to them and perceive them as being extroverted, only to be confused later on when they realize that they’re also very introspective, with moments of isolating themselves to recharge their social batteries alone.
10. To find someone to whom they can relate on an intellectual and emotional plane is rare. They hang on to the people who are stimulating enough for them to stop over-thinking for dear life.
11. They are wicked smart. A high intelligence is linked to depression - smarter people can envision all sorts of worst-case scenarios, and while this is stressful, one of the benefits is that it leads you to considering every worst case scenario, and then subsequently, how to handle or respond to each, making them great problem-solvers.
12. They are very uncomfortable with people seeing them in pain and will do everything in their power to ensure other people don’t see them struggle. They don’t want to be pittied, or to bring anyone down because making the people around them feel loved and special actually eases their sadness greatly.
13. Their sadness can actually make them very driven. Since their sadness is often perpetuated by their constant search for a purpose, they will always attempt to do more to satisfy something inside of them that may be always hungry for more.
14. They often feel like they have no control - so they compensate for fear of the unknown.
15. They make situations worse for themselves by trying to conceal their sadness. They are very expressive people - but it’s very difficult for them to express their anguish for they feel like people won’t understand what they’re going through and they have to protect themselves - their heart, the people around them, and the success of their dreams.
Many of you reading this will be know how easy it is to feel lost and alone. The truth is, no one has to hide the darkest and most unpleasant parts of themselves - the world we live in encourages this, but it’s those darkest parts that also have the most light in them. All that pain produces understandings that create a new level of living.
No matter how complicated someone is, it’s important for them to understand that they are searching for love acceptance. We all are. Open your heart to someone even if it scares you to death. People will be in love with you regardless of your most comfortable state.
I am honored that Michaelbrent Collings, internationally-bestselling author and one of the top indie horror writers in the United States contributed to my blog this moving article about depression: How to Love Someone Who Has Depression
Also check out: Loving a Person Who Has Depression