You’re often sourly misunderstood by other types of people, many don’t get you. You’re not looking to be labeled as “complicated” or “special” - actually, you wish you weren’t enigmatic because in many ways your internal contradictions can sometimes make life a struggle for you - “We're not looking for a label, a participation trophy, or any of that other BS. All we've looked for is an answer to why our polygon won't fit in any of the holes society has provided."
The extroverted introvert type, or the INFJ personality type, is very rare making up less than one percent of the population. You have a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, you have always had very strong opinions and will fight endlessly for an idea you believe in. You have a determined idealism, meaning you’re not just a dreamer, but you make solid steps to achieve your dreams. While you feel your purpose in life is to help people, your real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people don’t have to be rescued at all.
You can be very spontaneous, but there is a sense of wisdom behind your spontaneity, allowing you to pleasantly surprise the people around you repeatedly. You encourage people to grow and go after their dreams, innovating the life they want to live instead of being restricted by what is “correct” and expected of them. Your silver tongue and persuasiveness tend to draw a lot of (unwanted) attention from many people.
You were always a bit of a weirdo, your polygon not fitting in any of the holes society has provided. You hate rules, traditional systems and routine tasks - you see right through existing structures and methods, and all the ways they’re terribly inept and unnecessary. Your needs are hard to meet in a corporate structure, where your personal touch and originality will be diminished for you will be forced to manage someone else’s outdated policies.
You’re rarely out, but when you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to decompress and recharge your social batteries. As social and open as you can be, you are also very private when it comes to your personal life. You need a lot of time to feel comfortable enough to warm up fully (even though many feel very comfortable around you instantly).
At the same time, you can recharge by connecting with someone. You just don’t waste your time with people who you’re not completely crazy about. It’s like you’re searching for a friend soul mate. Someone who shares every facet of your passion and imagination. You have a skill for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting their intent and compatibility quickly and easily. Conversations with shallow people stress you out like crazy, while deeper deeper conversations make you feel alive, stimulating, recharging your social batteries.
You can also get overwhelmed very easily. Your passion, inborn sense of sincerity, extreme impatience for traditional systems and enigmatic traits tend to leave you with few options for letting off steam. It’s hard to know if you want company or you just need to be alone.
It can be a real challenge to really get to know you. You don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – when you have a connection with someone, you connect to them for life, no matter how long you don’t speak for. Finding someone who you consider a true friend is like finding a needle in a haystack. You likely have just a handful of true friendships, but they’re built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an unbreakable link.
Modern dating can cause you a lot of confusion and pain emotional because you can’t date casually. You’ve lied to yourself before, and were successful for a short period of time in convincing yourself you can date laid back, only to eventually realize that you just can’t do casual encounters - you will always look for depth and meaning in the relationship.
You will take any time necessary to find someone you truly connect with. While this can be stressful and annoying, once you have found that someone, your relationships will reach a level of depth and rawness that most people can only dream of.
Also check out my article How Extroverted Introverts Interact Differently With The World