To the Friend Who I Want Back in My Life

Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart. – Washington Irving

I got pretty close to fooling myself that I didn’t miss you. That everything happened for a reason and now there was room for new people to come into my life. Friends who wouldn’t be as difficult, as complicated. Friends who would love me better.

I got pretty close to believing that.

That is, until I hear our song, see our pictures (damn you Facebook memories) yearn to share that meme, or story, or send that screenshot that only you would understand. New people did come into my life and they were amazing, they were easier. But they weren’t you.

When you love someone like a sister, your expectations are high. Like your birthday or New Years, you expect a lot out of it. And when we didn’t live up to those expectations, when we stepped on issues that we didn’t see eye-to-eye on, our emotions got the best of us. I said things I didn’t mean, and was too stubborn to apologize. Our same strong characters that attracted each other, made it harder to forgive each other, to let go of our pride. We were too invested. 

We’re hardest on the people we are closest to because they hold the key to our happiness - and consequently are a major threat to our happiness when they don’t live up to our expectations. But the truth is, we’re all learning and all make mistakes.

A connection like ours comes around once, maybe twice, in a lifetime. And the truth is, I can meet a million people who are perfect, but I don’t want perfect. It took me a while to realize that you will meet so many people who are amazing, beautiful, kind, but it takes that special person who is wrong for you in just the right way. Our imperfections fell in love. You’re my right flavor of wrong.

“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.” 

There are some people you just can't let go of. And the truth is, I never want to not know you. I can't not know you.

Also check out: To the Friend Who I'll Grow Old With