The 10 Undeniable Stages Of Being Hungover with Your Friend

You wake up dehydrated AF and realize that you forgot to bring water to bed so now you have to find some asap so you don’t die. You get your water, chug like a gallon of it and then immediately go back to sleep. The fun has just begun.

Stage 1: Fuck.

The first thing you do when you wake up again is check your phone and read your drunk texts - and then want to quietly bury yourself to death. 

Stage 2: "I’m An Idiot."

You realize you’ve been personally victimized by Tequila and now you have to live with all your awful decisions which may or may not include texting fuckboy who almost ruined your life.

Stage 3: Calling your friend

You get enough energy to call your friend about the night,  "I did WHAT? NOOOOOO”

Stage 4:  It’s all coming back to me.

Friend: Wait…didn’t you start a fight/get on top of the bar/make out with that guy?! You: ...  

Stage 5: Well on the bright side, at least I met this cool guy.

You (two days later): Never mind.

Stage 6: I can’t decide whether I want to eat or throw up.

Prolly both.

Stage 7: Going back to sleep.

You can’t deal with your life right now so you just end up going back to sleep. All of your problems are solved by a nap: when you wake up from your nap, either the problem has disappeared or has gotten so big that you can’t do anything about it anyways.

Stage 8: Half Alive

You’re starting to finally feel a little better (thanks to 2 gallons of water, Advil, and your precious nap) and you’re finally able to laugh a little about your emotional drunk crying, super cool dance moves and being a hoe.

Stage 9: Hey! This is *insert annoying male name* from last night!

You: Oh no.

Stage 10: Back to sleep, again.

You realize that one nap wasn’t enough to escape your shitty life choices and it’s time to go back to bed. You also promise yourself: I am never ever doing this again.

1 week later: *does it again*

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Anna Bashkova

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