To the Friends We Still Love Who Aren't a Part of Our Lives Anymore

I don't want to let any more time go by without telling you what you meant to me. 

You weren’t my friend - you were my family. We went through every single stage together: From starting off being so nice to each other and then before we knew it we were teasing each other about everything and all boundaries got dropped real quick.

You always made me laugh. You always knew what to say when I was heartbroken. You were the one person who told me the things that I probably didn’t want to hear, but 100 percent needed to. You challenged me, you never tip-toed around me, our friendship was always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. I realize now how rare that was. 

You also knew when you had to let me go so I could learn for myself. And even though we argued and fought, you were always there to to pick up the pieces when it was all over. You stood by me when everything went to shit and seemed happier than I was when something amazing happened to me. You bailed me out when I messed up, you never let me dance alone but always made fun of me because that’s what family does.

You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. There were many times when you saved me from myself. Anything bad that happened just brought us closer together, so it wasn’t that bad in the end. 

I would have done anything for you; and no matter how badly we fought, never once did I think that there would come a day where we would no longer be best friends. But that’s the thing about life - you can’t plan things, and no matter how much we love someone, one moment can change everything. 

That doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you, though. That doesn’t mean that you still don’t affect my life. You were my partner in crime. Every stupid and crazy decision we ever made turned into the best adventures and stories that have and will live forever with me. Everything crazy we ever did together has shaped me; it’s made me, me.

I said a lot of things I didn’t mean; but my anger was fueled by emotion, by caring too much, by being too involved. We didn’t give up on our friendship. Life got messy and complicated and sometimes shit happens and we’re too proud to admit when we’re wrong and life just goes on. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about you all the time, that doesn’t mean I’m not still rooting for you and knowing with all my heart that all your dreams will come true. 

Thank you for showing me how beautiful life can be. They you for showing me that family doesn't depend on blood. Thank you for showing me what a true bond feels like, what it feels like to have someone by my side wherever I go. Thank you for giving me something that no amount of money can ever buy.  

You were my family; and even though you aren’t a part of my life like you used to be - you are, and forever will be, one of the best parts of me.

So when you're lost and in pain and don't know what to do next, know that I'm still here, still believing in you, still knowing you can do anything.