The Problem Isn't Them, the Problem Is You

If you look for a reason to be angry, you’ll find it. If you keep taking the person back who broke you, they will keep doing it. If you keep letting your past govern you, it will.

Yes, there will be shitty moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. But they were simply moments, they were simply words. There will always be shit people who will want to suck you into their toxicity. There will always be someone who will try to bring you down to try to lift themselves up. That’s life and you have no control over that. The only thing you have control over is to leave. Walk away. You can let toxic people go, you are allowed to cut people off who don’t lift you up.

There will always be that one person who will break your heart if you let them. They may be your best friend. They may be the person who you love most in the world. They may get you like no one else can. And they probably love you, too. But if you’ve tried over and over again to make it work and it always ends the same way – leave. I hate to break it to you but if you keep taking them back over and over again, you are the person who is standing in the way of your own happiness, not them. That’s all on you.

Stop making excuses for why you can’t do something. If you look for an excuse, you will always find it. You need to realize that there is no such thing as failing. There is no such thing as the perfect time. No matter what happens, you will never regret going after your dreams. You will never regret quitting that boring desk job that is sucking your soul if you truly want to quit. And most of the time, you’re just too lazy to do the work it takes to find something great and that is no one’s fault but your own.

If you look for someone to blame your problems on, you’ll find them.

The truth is, everyone can look into their past and blame something or someone for the way they are or the way their life turned out. But this will not make your life better. This will not facilitate change. Yes, you’re completely right for feeling what you feel, but if you don’t allow yourself to move past what was said, what happened, what was felt, you will be stuck in negativity. Forgive others. Forgive the universe. Forgive yourself. Don’t allow bad moments, fear or anger keep you at constantly looking at the negatives. Bad experiences open our eyes, they challenge us, shape us to be exactly who we need to be. Forgiving others doesn’t relieve them of their accountability, it always you to finally be free.

You ruin your life by tolerating it. You need to feel the greatness that lives inside of you. You need to realize that it’s all up to you. You are the reason that you’re unsatisfied.

It will never be easy to surrender that control and just go for what you want – but you are the only one who can make your dreams happen. It will never be easy to let someone go who you love – but it’s necessary for change, for growth and for your own well-being.

Many people will love you, many people will believe in you - but you are the one who will have to push through when there are obstacles and things get rough. The most important thing is that you believe in yourself.

You will never be happy if you continuously settle for less than you deserve. You will never reach happiness if you continue self-destructive patterns. Don’t sabotage your own happiness out of a reluctance to trust it, don’t give up on a dream just because it’s tough. Of course it’s tough – it’s like that quote, “nothing great comes easy, and nothing easy can ever equate to greatness.” You have so many great moments awaiting, so many new memories to make. But you can’t make them with one foot on the brakes.

Stop making excuses, quit settling if it doesn't make you happy, and stop blaming the world and other people for your problems. The problem is you.

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Anna Bashkova

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