In my early twenties my over-thinking drove me crazy; my symptoms being perpetuated by where I was at that time in my life: lost, with a dead-end job, a failing relationship, an empty wallet and a complete lack of direction. I had no idea what I wanted to do. If I met someone that made me live in the moment, I'd hang on to them for life. Or, you know, until I started over-thinking again.
God forbid someone didn’t like me - I didn’t rest until I figured out why. Sleep was probably the most difficult aspect of my life. Laying silently in the dark without any distraction inevitably made me sink into my racing thoughts - this was my brain’s prime time to annoy me; it wouldn't miss this opportunity.
I could never let things go easily. My mind would always convince me that if I ran over the details just one more time, it would somehow change the outcome and I would uncover some new understanding of the situation. My friends would always laugh and say “you are so overthinking this, I can’t even right now, you’re so paranoid” and I would reply, "No. Why? Did someone say I was paranoid?" Needless to say, I ended up making every situation in my life about 100x more difficult than it had to be.
I had NO clue what I was doing and I was utterly lost; there was heartbreak, confusion, days where I felt like I wasn’t special or purposeful. And yet, I pulled through.
I decided to leave shitty relationships, I stopped caring about the approval of others. I started having very low tolerance for crap; I stopped investing my time and energy into something or someone who wasn’t offering respectable returns. I walked away a lot. No matter my history or connection with someone, if someone started taking advantage of me, I walked away. I started saying "no" - I stopped apologizing for doing things that made me happy. I stopped bending myself backwards to please other people who wouldn't do the same for me.
I stopped competing with people, and I started empowering them. I communicated my needs and set boundaries; I stopped wasting time regretting, and started making my move, taking charge of my life, living for myself; putting myself first. I fucked up a lot and realized that that’s the whole point of life - you will never learn what it is you really want without making mistakes along the way. If you have it all figured out at 22, or 23, or 26, the rest of your life would be so boring.
I started my early twenties not having any clue about what I was doing. I had a useless degree, a job I hated that barely payed enough to make rent, and relationships that were rapidly changing. I didn’t know how to handle any of it. But I learned that so many things in life can’t be taught or explained. You have to experience a period of struggles because it will teach you so much more than smooth sailing ever could.
You will over-think so many things when you’re 20-something and that’s completely okay. Some people will suck and life will be kind of complicated. Some love will end, because it should. Things fall apart so that better things can fall together. You’re going to feel lost, be mind-numbingly introspective sometimes, and that’s not a bad thing. It's essential for growth.
Always go for what you want, the worst thing that can happen is someone will say “no,” and then you will know for sure. You will laugh, cry, struggle, and most importantly, you will be alive. As long as your heart’s still beating you have time to fail as many times as you need, and take those big, scary risks worth taking that will change your life.