To My Fellow Women, Please Don't Compete with Each Other

Not for a job, not for being the “best” or the “prettiest,” and especially, especially not for a boy. 

You deserve someone who will never make you feel like you have to compete. Who will look at you and not see anyone else. Who will make other girls jealous of you.

You deserve a guy who doesn’t just say I love you, but executes it. Someone who is ready for it. Because someone can be madly in love with you, they can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not be ready. You can feel that connection, your roots entwining - but it’s not enough. They need to show up for you, show you they care, not make you feel like you have to compete for his attention or affection. 

You deserve someone who doesn’t have one foot out the door. Who makes you feel that dating you is not the end of his liberty -  but the beginning of it. 

You are fiery and gentle, driven and loving, complicated and kind, and should never, ever have to compete with anyone. The man that you’re with should never make you feel insecure. He should never make you feel like his affection or desire could belong to another. He should look at you with such passion and certainty that you know that this love can never get discarded for the next hit. The next thrill or instant gratification. He should look at you and make you feel like you’re the only girl that knows his heart and the only girl that he’ll ever love. 

 I promise you, it’s out there. 

When you have that extraordinary love, there’s no competing. Because when you find the right guy that loves you like you deserve to be loved, he’s smart enough to know that none of his other “options” will truly satisfy see, make him feel inspired, alive or understood. He won’t even feel like he has a choice in the matter, because quite frankly, you are his dream girl, the one who tears down his walls; the one he lets in, because your connection is real. And he’ll never risk losing you because of his pride, fears, ego or selfish ways. 

There will be a guy who will understand that love isn’t shiny and perfect. Love is raw. Love is the 3am fights between people who give a shit, the reddened eyes full of emotion, the intense conversations that make you feel understood, that challenge you, push you to think and be better. Love is frustrating the shit out of each other and then stopping to gaze at them because you think, this is the problem I want to have.

There will be a guy who will never make you worry about another girl.

 I promise you, it’s out there. 

So please promise me this: That you won’t compete with women. That you won't waste your time being angry and hurt and vicious towards another girl when it's not her fault. That you’ll never compete for a man’s attention and affections. Because at the end of the day, it is your man’s job to make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world. It his job and your job to honor your love. You don’t have to compete with anyone. 

Don’t settle for anything less than that extraordinary love that lifts you up and makes you the baddest, most confident version of yourself. Because the love you’ve given him, it's worth the world. And at the very least, it’s worth knowing that when you fall asleep, and wake, your heart is safe.