1. No, we’re not always “nice” to your face - we’re nice behind your back.
Some of our comments can come off as mean, but it’s really just us trying to be playful and bond - our sarcasm is humorous, not rude, by nature. Think about all those times you thought someone was so nice only to realize that they were simply compensating for all the shit they do and say behind people’s backs. One thing to take off your list of worries is feeling that way around us. Ain't nobody got time for that.
2. We don’t care how many basic people call us “crazy” or “rude.”
We like to play around not because we dislike people, but because they want to eliminate barriers between people. We’re not going to small talk. We don’t see the point. We see it a disservice because life is too short to have some bullshitting session about stuff nobody really gives two shits about.
3. We’re going to tell you things that you probably don’t want to hear but 100 percent need to hear:
You: I miss him. Friend: Maybe you should call him. Us: F*ck that asshole. Stab him. I’ll bail you outta jail. We love you too much to tell you what you want to hear.
4. We come off cocky, but it’s a front.
We’re really just certified weirdos. We’ll say inflated things about our appearance, like “I’m just so gorgeous” or “damn I look good” but we’re teasing - our humor is just our reaction to the world’s bullshit.
5. We will make jokes in inappropriate situations.
That doesn’t mean we’re insensitive, it’s quite the opposite. The only people who think otherwise are the people who are one dimensional and don’t have a sense of humor. Sawry.
6. No, we’re not going to enjoy typical social gatherings that are supposed to be “awesome”
- like brunch or Super Bowl Sunday, or being at the hottest clubs with the “hottest” people on a Friday night. If you have “normal" friends we won’t want to hang out with them. Please don’t make us. We’re not the person who is appropriate, we’re the person who you can call at 3 am.
7. Just because we’re rough around the edges, doesn’t mean we’re rough with our actions.
We have soft, gooey centers under the hard exteriors. We’re only this sarcastic because we have mad layers of depth and feelings. For every mean thing we joke about, we have ten more nice things to say about you. At the end of the day, we always got your back. When shit gets real, we’re there. And you can be sure of one thing: you will never be bored or uninspired.
Share the weirdness with your friends: