The 12 Stages of Being Away from Your Long-Distance Best Friend

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The stages of being away from your Long-Distance Best Friend are very similar to the stages you have with a long-distance boyfriend. Except for the fact that no amount of distance can ruin a true friendship. (Sawry).

Stage 1: Denial.

You make Skype dates that fall through. You forget about each other’s weird time zone and text each other in the middle of the night. Calls get dropped and plans change; you both get busy with a thousand different little things. The adjustment period is a bitch. 

Stage 2: New friends phase.

You reluctantly make new friends but never really move on from your bae. As much as you hate it, you get super friend jealous when you see them post photos with their new friends. *Fake LIKE*  

Stage 3: Back off Felicia phase.

When your BFF gets a new “best friend” you're all like, "back off Felicia...she's mine." No man can make you jealous of another female, but let one person call your best friend their best friend and you will cut a bitch. 

Stage 4: Private investigating phase.

You then do some really deep investigating on your best friend’s new friends. You know, for her, protection. You then find some shit but then realize you can’t say anything because you’ll end up looking like a crazy ass bitch.

Stage 5: She doesn’t mean anything to me phase.

This stage includes your best friend reassuring you that what you have is real and nothing can replace it. “Bae, she’s just my geographically-better-suited friend! She’s not you, no one can compare!"

Stage 6: The magical feeling when you see them after a long time apart phase.

When you do see your best friend again, you are worse than “that couple” - you’re so happy to see each other that it makes you feel like your best self on steroids.

Stage 7: Catching up on a billion thing phase.

“How was it?! Is he cute? Did you take pics? When can I meet him. Are you gonna tell your parents? Are you gonna tell mine?

Stage 8 : Weird thoughts you know you could never share with anyone else phase.

Seeing your best friend again makes you fall back into your old selves without missing a beat, no matter how much time has passed. She’s the only one you can tell that you looked at your bank balance and rationally thought about the benefits of prostitution and drug dealing. 

Stage 9: Other friends just won’t compare phase.  

You never really realize how much you miss her until you see her again. She gives you the best advice because no one knows you better - she’s also the only one you can order half the menu for dinner with and she won’t judge you for being a human elephant. 

Stage 10: Blowing off your geographically-better-suited friends phase.

You will blow them off the entire time your best friend comes to visit  and really couldn’t care less how jealous they get. Bae is number one. 

Stage 11: That good-bye never, ever gets easier phase.

“Why was the universe so unfair to introduce me to someone so perfect, then take them away from me!” *sniffle* 

Stage 12: One day we will be together phase.

You talk about your future lives together, including the shared apartment and the dog. You promise each other that when you’re both old and your husbands have died, you’ll move in with each other so you can drink daily, complain about your new young BF’s and keep each other company. True love.

Share the love with your Long-Distance Best Friend: