People With Fewer Friends Aren’t Lonely, They’re Actually Geniuses
/At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.
It’s not that you’re anti-social, you’re selectively social. Mostly because small talk stresses you out like crazy - you need deeper conversations to make you feel alive, and there’s not many people you can dive into the deep end with.
Maintaining friendships is a constant struggle for you. Some days you can talk for hours, but sometimes you’re not so good at replying and talking on the phone. It’s not personal - you screen your phone calls, even from your closest friends.
In an article on The Washington Post, Carol Graham, a Brookings Institute researcher who studies the economics of happiness, said, "The findings suggest (and it is no surprise) that those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it ... are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective."
Hmmmm. Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing, you’ll connect with people very easily, that’s not the problem. It’s just the maintenance that you find difficult - you probably hate the phone because it’s all intrusive and tears your minds away from whatever you’re deeply focusing on (and you are always deeply focusing on something). Your mind doesn't change direction easily. Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that's already going on in your head.
That’s why sometimes you don't want to socialize — you’d rather use that time to pursue your goals. But it’s not because you dislike people - it's actually the opposite. You dislike the barriers like small talk (which often comes with going out) creates between people, and try to avoid it at all costs.
A recent study published in the British Journal of Psychology says that says smarter people do better with a smaller amount of friends. “More intelligent individuals experience lower life satisfaction with more frequent socialization with friends,” the study said. Think about all the things you want to discover or achieve. To the extent that frequent social interaction detracts from the pursuit of these goals, it may negatively affect your overall satisfaction with life.
Basically, you’re one smart motherf*cker. And you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like there’s something wrong with you when you hate socializing and prefer to only have a few close friends who you share your whole world with. #nonewfriends
